Eleven years

On the day we lost you grandma the world did not change, time did not stand still, People lived and laughed and partied and continued to be carefree. On the night we lost you grandma the city did not become still, or hauntingly quiet. Earth did not shake in distress grandma, for she witnesses death everyday. No, the world did not change, or shake, or dream that it wasn’t real; but we did. 

Friday nights in March will always be haunting, but on the rare occasion when the 11th falls on a Friday my heart sinks. 

Today marks 11 long years since we lost a remarkable and beautiful woman, her undying love and smile are among the many things I hold dear to my heart. I can’t put into words the sorrow loss brings to a person, just that it leaves you feeling heavy and numb and then sad and hopeless. They say time heals, the say you begin to live life normally again but neither one was true in my case. Time has only allowed my family to fall apart, to crumble and become incompetent and selfish. It has not healed the pain or taken it away and living normally is impossible to do when a crumbling family can’t be in the same room. I have accepted that I cannot change that she left us so soon, but I can’t begin to remember her laugh and her lively spirit and not the sorrow today brings. 

11 years ago we lost you and I have missed you everyday since. Rest in sweet paradise grandma, I love you 

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