Some say I’m a dreamer, but I can’t be the only one. 

Imagine, if you will. That everything we say was real. 

“I’m fine” no longer was a way to get out of admitting your pain. Our natural instinct wouldn’t be to push our feelings out of the way, imagine what we would gain. 

Our deepest regrets and our suffering would no longer be just ours, no longer just manifesting in our minds. We wouldn’t die with regrets or unspoken lines.

Instead we would live in a world that knows that we are not brave, strong or “robot” enough to deal with things that destroy us alone. We can openly say “my heart is broken” or “your actions and words hurt” instead of crying while acting like we don’t care behind the screen of a phone. 

We wouldn’t take our lives, cut our skin or swallow pills in a desperate attempt to quiet the demons and pain, if we weren’t ashamed to share what hurt us. No brave faces, no unspoken words just honesty, anger, crying and fuss. 

We wouldn’t need to question the actions, the feelings of others, we wouldn’t be afraid to expose our vulneralable side. Imagine the people we could be, the ones we could have saved, if humanity didn’t make us feel like we have be someone else, that we have to hide. 

————————————————–

Even now I’m sitting here, unable to vocalize what I am feeling to anyone because “fine” is the easiest answer.

I get asked daily how I am, it’s part of that annoying way we are expected to greet people. I tell them I’m good, or fine, and continue on with the way I’m expected to act. Expectations.. That’s what wrong with society. We’re expected to be kind, to be quiet, to follow rules set for us through parents, teachers, employers and of course theinfamous  “girl/bro codes”. We are constantly told how to be, given time lines on feelings, expected to be and act a certain way after something or someone inflicts pain on us. We are encouraged to put on a happy face and go with the flow, we are told to fake it until we make it and having “walls” up is so common these days that I don’t think anyone allows their true self show. 

I am beyond guilty of this. 

Instead of allowing my true feelings show I fake a smile, change the topic or pretend that the situation doesn’t hurt. I hate it, I loathe the fact that I am unable to be real with people because I am afraid of what they will say or think. What they will say behind my back, hushed whispers when I’m around. We are all such cowards, talking about people rather to them. Complaining instead of fixing, backstabbing instead of uplifting. This is what we’ve become. 

Oh what a world we live in. 

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