It’s been almost two months since you went away but it still feels so new. What’s it like in heaven? are you happy? Are you free of pain like they say?
I wish I could turn back time and cherish you when you were healthy. I’m so sorry for the things I use to say about you behind your back and to your face, you were the worlds greatest dad and I’m so grateful you were mine. I know we had our differences but we had good times too. Remember watching wwf in the old house? It was the highlight of my week every week. Remember all the times you took us to quesnel? I know it wasn’t your idea of a good time but I’m grateful you did it Anyways. Remember the day you took me to my asthma appointment cause Mom was at a field trip with Jen? Remember how you let me eat a cookie in the van after? I still remember that so well because we weren’t aloud food in that Van. Remember the day you brought Prince home? He was the best dog.. You weren’t perfect, but who is? You did your very best and I wish I could of seen that when I was younger. I wouldn’t of been so spiteful.
Remember that time I had to do a project with someone and they bailed last minute so you worked on it all night for me? I remember so many good times that the “bad” just kinda.. Disappears. You were always there, always willing to take the blame when we didnt want to do something.
I remember being so scared everytime you would fall or take off after you were diagnosed, I remember crying for you. What kind of pain were you in? What did you have to live through? I’m so sorry I wasn’t as strong as you and visited you more. I just couldn’t watch the strongest man I ever knew choke and struggle to breath. I couldn’t deal with what you were going through and I hate that I was so selfish.
I’m beyond grateful that you got me Jayda, I love that I have a reminder of you with me always, not that you ever leave my mind.
I compare everyone’s love to the love you have for mom. You showed me the way a man should treat a woman and I hope I’ll find a man that loves me like you love mom.
I hate that I carry this emptiness inside me, because I know you wouldn’t want any of us to be this sad. But daddy you were more important to us then any of us really knew.
I miss you so much
I love you forever and always