I’m turning 25 this October and the thought of being half way to 50 terrifies me a little to much. I’m grateful I was blessed to have a life this long, growing old is something a lot of people don’t get to do, however that doesn’t stop me from developing some serious insecurities. I am, in no way, where I wanted to be at 25, and yes I know life doesn’t go they way we plan but some days I can’t help but be fearful of never getting there.
In light of my 25 years on earth I was thinking about listing 25 things I’ve learnt about life, love and growing up. It’s going to be a long list, but here goes nothing.
- Have patience – we only have one life, and in this life we will have obsticals, things will test us, people will test us, and our dreams will feel like they are unreachable, but I know with patience we can and will have the things we dream of. Rome wasn’t built in a day after all.
- The people that love you are the ones that matter – I’m not talking people that are forced to tolerate you because you share a family member, but the people that love you through all your ups and downs. The people that worry about you, that celebrate with you. The people who love you are the people you need in life. Family may be “forever” but they aren’t always loyal.
- You don’t need to be perfect – no one on this earth is perfect. The most talked about and opinionated Christian family, the Duggars, use to pride themselves on being “perfect” and look at the trouble they are in. If you make mistakes, fall or fail it just means you are learning, your growing and your human. Humans aren’t perfect & we aren’t suppose to be.
- Love has no limits – who ever tells you that your to young or it’s to soon to love is just jaded. Your heart knows no time, age, race or sex and no one knows your heart but you.
- Sex doesn’t equal love – in today’s society sex is overly accepted. Now I’m not saying sex is wrong, we have needs, but your body is the only thing that will be with you for the rest of your life and you need to respect it. I’m talking to both females and males, there’s far worse things that can’t happen from a one night stand then regret and an unplanned baby.
- People will leave – As depressing as it sounds, people we love will leave our lives. They may move away, or simply you’ll grow apart. It doesn’t mean they hate you, or you hate them it just means your paths no longer lead to the same destination and that’s okay.
- Sexual assult can happen at any age, time and in any situation. Be the person that will always believe the victims – I’m lucky I was old enough, that I experienced love before he put his hands on me. But that will never change the fact that he stole my future. One to many beers and I was the perfect target for someone to take advantage of me, and he did. I still the remember the way he smelt, his voice in my ear and the way his hands felt on my body, but worse of all I remember the guilt. The guilt that I encouraged his behavior, the pain I felt when no one believed me. Please never be one of those people, it’s hard enough to go through without proving that your telling the truth. To this day, 8 years later, I’m still unable to be touched by a man because of him.
- Put yourself first – This is a hard one. But you need to put your needs, wants, desires before other people’s. People like us, those who care to much, always end up being taken advantage of.
- Not everything needs a reaction – Especially publicly. We are a society that lives on social media. Our entire lives are public, but that doesn’t mean you need to make a scene or get into someone’s face when you disagree with someone’s words or decisions.
- It’s okay to remove people from your life – Sometimes the people we love the most are the ones that hurt us the most and It’s okay to decide that they’re purpose in your life is over. This includes family members that have hurt you.
- It’s okay to stay in bed all day when your sad – sometimes life gets overwhelming and the only thing that helps is wrapping yourself up in your bed for a day.
- Love yourself – You can’t expect others to accept you if you can’t accept and love yourself. You need to love yourself enough to set boundaries and know your worth.
- Drugs will take away more then you’ll ever realize – I have seen so many people ruin their lives with a needle, pill or pipe. My uncles are among the “living” dead, the people that wander the streets looking for cigarette butts, pop bottles and a place to rest. Life is to valuable to waste, to precious to throw away for a needle. You are worth more then diamonds and jewels. No matter what your past has told you, you are important, needed and loved. Your short comings do not mean your worthless, and I know loneliness can drive you insane but don’t let your loneliness drive you into the arms of addiction.
- Hard times wont last forever – The pain you feel today won’t last forever, the sun will shine and you will feel the weight lifting off your shoulders.
- Be grateful when things are good – Just like The bad, the good doesn’t last either. Appreciate every blessing you receive cause it can be taken away in a blink of an eye.
- Cherish the moments you have – tomorrow isn’t promised and you’ll never know when it’ll be the last time you see someone. Cherish each and every moment you have with your loved ones, create memories, tell them you love them as much as possible because before you know it they’re gone.
- Believe in yourself – the world, society, sometimes even your family will tear you down, make you believe you aren’t good enough. In those moments you need to believe in yourself because the people around you won’t care if your dreams come true or not and they won’t have to deal with the regret; it’s you.
- Fall in love – no matter how hurt you’ve been allow your heart to feel love eventually. Fall in love with someone who sees your flaws, the dark parts of your soul yet still loves you unconditionally. Fall in love with someone’s soul, their past and their future. Be so in love that people will feel the love when they’re around you. Find someone who will love you, and you will live through all the struggles in life.
- Respect everyone – even if you don’t agree with someone respect their opinion. I know it’s difficult, but if you open your mind and allow yourself to understand other people better, you will become better.
- Forgive, but never forget – don’t forgive them because they muttered the words I’m sorry, forgive them because life is to short to be angry. Take what they did and learn from it.
- Do what makes you happy – life is was to short to stay at a job, in a relationship or in a place that makes you unhappy.
- Have morals – life is about learning, but you don’t have to do things that tarnish your soul. Just because a friends or celebrity does something doesn’t mean it’s right. Protect yourself, respect yourself, be a role model and be the change we need in this world.
- It’s okay to cry – Crying doesn’t mean your weak, crying means your living. Sometimes all we need to clear our souls is a good cry.
- Depression is so real – I admit I was one of those jack ass kids that made fun of the kids that were always so sad looking, and now I’m one of them. I never understood the depth of the pain they lived with, why they slashed at their wrists to find peace and yet now I understand to well. Please never underestimate someone’s pain.
- Lastly, it’s okay to leave – I am the queen of excuses, I use to tell people I could not leave my city because of my dad, my sisters son’s, my mom ect ect. The truth is I’m scared. I’m afraid to leave the things that are fimilar to me, the people and things I know. But without leaving, without exploring what’s out there I’m.. I’m festering in my own pain and out dated memories. This will always be my home, but this isn’t were my heart longs to be anymore. And that’s okay. I dumb myself down to fit into a society I don’t like. Comform to things I don’t agree with but why? I’m learning that leaving people and things that hurt you feel pretty good and that I need to put the people who love and care for me ahead of those I wish would.
And there you go 25 things I’ve learned in 25 years.