When “home” no longer feels like home. 

I don’t know who, as in the audience, my blog may attract, I don’t know you so you may not feel the same. I, however, can’t help but shake the feeling that after something bad happens you need to change something. 

In my heart I’ve known for a long time that my place in this world isn’t in my city. I have grown to hate the fast pace and geediness of the people who live here. Brand names, fast cars and largely populated areas are not my idea of a happy life, not that I think it’s wrong it’s just not me. I’ve lived in this place since the day I was born, I’ve watched the city build and the population increase; the drugs take over and the price of living go up.  

The only thing that has kept me here so long was my dad. I knew that if I left and he passed away I’d regret it. 
But now that he’s gone that fear isn’t holding me back. I look around me in complete disgust at what and who the people Around here have become. Our children no longer play, they live in a world surrounded by phones, tablets, gaming systems, computers and TV. We’re a generation that’s so consumed with “new” that we disregard the people in our lives that matter. We work to buy things to impress the people around us, we are in constantly trying to compete with what others have.

I will honestly admit I hate city living, that i’d kill to live in a small town, with nothing but people who appreciate life and what they have. If I knew how and where to go I’d be gone in a second.

My heart isn’t here, home no longer feels like home. I’m embarrassed of the place I live, bewildered when people choose to visit this god forsaken city. The streets are riddled with drug addicts, parks are filled with used condoms and syringes. I don’t feel safe in a place that I once loved. 

I can no longer tolerate the people, the attitudes, and the judgement. 

I’m 25 years old in October and my goal is to escape this horrible place, start over. Maybe in a new place I’ll be able to trust, be able to build my own family; move on from my past. 

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